Should I quit?

Do you ever wonder what difference it makes and why you do what you do? Do you ever question your calling? I imagine we all do. Looking at my stats this summer, I wanted to throw in the towel. Clearly, it was time for a break. More people unsubscribed to my blog than subscribed. Don’t worry, I don’t blame them, sometimes I can’t complete my thoughts and I write half-baked words. Distracted, overwhelmed, and unmotivated, my life feels like it’s been ripped out of my clenched fists. I wonder if I should quit. Do you?

I’m skinned up

Waves have knocked me off my feet before, but this time body surfing isn’t the thrill it used to be. One foot in front of the other to brace myself, I looked over my shoulder and calculated the wave’s arrival. Diving into the crest, the water torpedoed my body to shore, except when I hesitated and missed it altogether. Other times, the power of the wave dragged me along the sandy bottom leaving my bathing suit full of grit and my lungs empty of air.

That’s pretty much how I feel right now: skinned up, yucky and gasping.

Less and less people read the words I shovel up out of my soul and honestly I read less and less of what others write. We live in a noisy world and the voices of gifted authors and talented speakers rise above the background sound of my keyboard between trips to work, trips to see my kids and trips to see my parents all while trying to hold my own life together.

“But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.” Philippians 3:16 NLT

Our calling isn’t about others, it’s about obedience

But is it worth it? I heard the Bible study was cancelled because only 12 people were attending. Seriously, twelve? Of all numbers…. I’m glad Jesus thought 12 raggedy men were worth investing in and dying for. Then I remembered my own numbers, yeah, the stats. Jesus talked about numbers too; He left the 99 to find one.

Decreasing

Though my overall stats are still down a tad, my personal connections are up. I hear from individuals, often privately. So this is for you, yes you and just you.  Jesus never called us to megachurches and huge platforms, He called us to take up our cross and follow him. Daily, die to self and self promotion. Do it. Do it for one or a thousand. Most of all, do it in obedience to the Lord- until He calls you out or calls you home.  I’ve traveled to the far side of the globe to share the gospel with one person, why not write a 1,000 words for a few?

John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” HCSB

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What is your calling?

“None of us will accidentally fulfill our calling. Fulfillment will require focus, stamina, self-discipline, and, as reluctant as we are to accept it, a certain amount of suffering. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes to go where God leads.” ~ Beth Moore

Each of us is uniquely gifted to serve the body of Christ. Find what you are called to do and do it. Whether you write words in public or rock babies in private; it matters. Personally if I had a newborn in the nursery I’d care a lot more about a clean hiney than letters on a screen. So don’t quit. Ironically, I once thought this was easy. I suppose there are seasons along the journey. Seasons of wiping and seasons of winning. Where do you find yourself?

Walk the long road of obedience, all the way home…