Sometimes you can’t take it back. Words, hurts, spills. When the damage can’t be undone, consider it an opportunity to show grace. Showing mercy is more satisfying than retaliation.
The U-Haul in the rear view mirror was packed like a game of Tetris.
My little girl learned to pack from me and her daddy taught her to drive a trailer like a boss, except she’s not so little anymore. The U-Haul contained her nearly three decades of life en route across three states where she now works and lives. The eight hour drive dragged into ten across the flat road bisecting fields of corn and soy beans. This was hard for a momma and my mind went places it shouldn’t go.
Speaking of places you shouldn’t go
In the interest of time and convenience, pizza buffet seemed the best option. Before drinks were ordered we piled our plates with slices au jour. We were on track to be in and out, until…
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the waitress, I saw the cup, I saw the tilt, but there was nothing I could do. Before a muscle could twitch, cold Pepsi splashed my arms, shirt and lap (yes Pepsi, we were up north). Eyes and mouth gaping, I felt sticky liquid drizzle into my sandals. The waitress stood like a statue with her hand covering her mouth. If she could take it back, she would, but the damage was done.
When the damage can’t be undone
Though I wanted to be angry, I knew she never imagined the loose grip she had on the cup would leave me trying to escape my own clothes with arms extended to avoid the icky feel against my skin. For a moment, I wanted to scream, then compassion trumped indignation. After all, I’m guilty too. I lasted four days as a waitress before I managed to spill hot coffee on a customer. Oops.
Besides, what good is the blame game when the damage is done?
There’s no use crying over spilled milk Pepsi
When someone loses their grip and spills into your life, anger is a natural reflex. Consider it an opportunity to choose mercy instead. You’ll both feel better.
My flip flops stuck to the bottom of my feet on my way to the bathroom where I splashed water on my arms and legs. The mess washed off easily enough and in the big picture of life it was no big deal. When I pushed the bathroom door open she gushed apologies. Grinning, I waved it off and finished my slice of supreme. And it felt good.
Luke 6:38, “Give, and it will be given to you; a goo measure – pressed down, shaken together, and running over – will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” HCSB
Drenched in Forgiveness and mercy, not Pepsi
I felt all cold and sticky on the outside, but warm and fuzzy on the inside as I watched her regret wash away in relief. Mercy is a gift we offer when the damage can’t be undone and it’s always better to give than receive. If we are faithful to show mercy in the little things, it will come more naturally with the serious spills.
Mercy is a gift we offer when the damage can't be undone #LordHaveMercy Click To TweetWhen I paid my bill, she hollered to the cashier, “Please don’t charge her for that drink.” So the Pepsi was free, the one in my cup and the one on my skin. Thanks…
So good!! There are times that I believe it is healthy not to just let it go. There are times that we should confront issues yet do it with mercy. So many times in my life I have used the scale “In 10 years will this really matter?” If not, choke it down. But I’m learning that if you choke it down over and over and over you become bitter. There are times that I believe it is okay to say “you know that hurt me.” Boundaries are healthy and Godly. I’m trying to learn how to apply boundaries with mercy!
There are times that something needs to be said and you know nothing will come of if other than you communicating that a boundary line has been crossed. Still working on this.
I’m still working on it too. What you are saying is also discussed on the Heart of the Author podcast, “Recovering from Life’s Losses.” Great book