Restlessness
Despite accepting the new life Myasthenia Gravis handed me, it was a complete upheaval. Discouragement threatened to invade my heart if I did not intentionally remain in Him. Facing despair felt like standing on a ledge looking down into darkness with no safe way to get off. My mind was under attack. But in this season, I learned that God uses stillness to distill us.
As my body grew weaker, my soul grew weary. A sense of hopelessness crept in, though God continually reminded me of His presence. Memorizing scripture to keep myself focused, I stored it deep down in my marrow to protect me from the temptation to lose sight of the purpose and plan I had trusted God with early in the course of my illness.
My face, hands, belly and lungs were reservoirs for what felt like a gallon of extra fluid. My arms often hung limp and useless at my sides. Breathing was physically exhausting, but looking in the mirror was emotionally exhausting. The moon that replaced my face grew fuller every day. The scales tipped five pounds up and every ounce was above my collar bone. My mind and body were under attack, but I knew my soul was safely sealed for the day of redemption. In the season of distilling, every aspect of my life had to change. To move forward, I had to die to self.
Distilling – the process of extracting the essential meaning or most important aspects of something.
As time went on, I was able to do more and subsequently rested less. I spent less time on the porch, neglecting the sweet fellowship I had discovered there. I missed God’s presence. There I had proclaimed His faithfulness, worshipped and prayed.
My earthly father instilled in me an appreciation for nature and creation. God’s handiwork has always declared His glory since the beginning of time. Even my salvation experience was intertwined with the beauty of nature. I knew where to find Him, so early one morning, I unlocked the front door and entered the place that had become my personal sanctuary-the porch. It was a special place. God was there, as always.
*This is an excerpt from the book I’ve never published, Intermission.
What about you? Are you restless?
Be still and know He is God is not just a Bible verse (Psalm 46:10), it’s a reality. You will never find God if you continually focus on turmoil. Listen to the words of the Psalmist,
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, ”
Psalm 46:1-2 NLT
Yet fear is everywhere. And to be honest, we feed it with a regular diet of sensational news and controversy. Then we digest it on social media or conversations around the table. Sadly, we go back for another feast of information that scares us over and over. To ease the indigestion, we claim faith over fear, but the acid in our stomach says otherwise.
“The nations are in chaos…”
Psalm 46:6
“Be still… therefore we will not fear”
There is undeniably turmoil in the world. You can lament and panic, but please remember, God is still in control. To know that you must be still. My stillness was forced and if you’ve talked to me in the last minute or two, you know I need to stop the perpetual motion that drives me and sit in the presence of the Lord again.
The porch is gone and so much of my life has changed, but God and His word never change. Here’s what I’m going to do – I’m going to memorize Psalm 46. Will you join me? It’s only 11 verses.
God uses stillness to distill us
A little stillness goes a long way. Trust me, I lived it.
“The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
Psalm 46:11 NLT
Dear readers, having you on this crazy journey with me has meant the world to me. If you’re wondering why I’ve never published that book, it’s because there aren’t enough of you. If you want to invite a friend or two to subscribe it would help me get there.
You string words together in the most delightful & descriptive way. Thank you for putting your story into words. Thank you for words that point us to the author of our salvation. Praying to read a physical copy of this book someday soon.
Thanks so much for your continual encouragement
Distilled. Yes. Distilled. Thank you, Vickie, for using that word to describe the purpose of God’s work in your life.
Psalm 46 is worth memorizing. I did so shortly after I had a stroke and my husband left. I quoted it again and again as I trudged back and forth, back and forth several times each day in order to regain both my physical and emotional health. All that walking and all that speaking the truth helped heal that which had been broken. Truly, God is faithful.
Indeed He is faithful. I love the pacing and memorizing connection. It’s a lifeline.
If the portion you shared from your book is anything to go by, I for one cannot wait to read it.
Birth this book baby Lord.
Ah, that means the world to me.
Thanks!
Vickie, thank you for this very meaningful piece. It really touched my heart. Please tell us how you are feeling. Has your health improved? Does it take a huge effort for you to type? I’m praying for you and thanking God for what a blessing you are.
I’ve been in remission for a couple of years, except my eyes. Thank you for asking