Fatigue is a formidable opponent. It is also foreign to me. Some days I survive by clinging to the hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Lamentations 3:21-23, “But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning.” ESV
I SURRENDER
In an effort to wake up my adrenal glands I have been taking Prednisone every other day, which means every other day I can hardly function. Finally, I raised the white flag, emailed my doctor and got permission to change the dose. Some of you are probably laughing because you know I tend to doctor myself and change the dose without permission, but this time I was a compliant patient.
Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.” NKJV
MAYBE TOMORROW
I keep thinking tomorrow will be a better day. I hope I will wake up tomorrow in complete remission. Maybe tomorrow I won’t feel the side effects from steroid withdrawal. Don’t get me wrong, I am copiously grateful for the progress I have made. By watching me you would not suspect I even had a chronic illness, but then again you only see me on my good days. You don’t see me laying on the couch for hours waiting for today to pass so I can start over tomorrow. I remember what it felt like to live without thinking about my health and I want to be there again.
Psalm 38:10, “My heart throbbeth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.” ASV
HOPE
I have always been an eternal optimist. Hope is good. It keeps me going. My first thought upon wakening is no longer, “I have myasthenia gravis.” That habit stopped about five months ago, probably because the weakness I felt when I first got out of bed has improved. Now, I keep thinking tomorrow I will be able to exercise and start reconditioning. I keep thinking tomorrow I will start a diet and get rid of the extra weight inactivity and steroids forced on me. It couldn’t possibly be the sea-salt, caramel ice cream.
Romans 8:25, “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” NIV
TODAY
Hoping for the future is a good thing, unless I treat it like throwing pennies into a wishing well. Although my hope is ultimately secure in eternity, hope is not a magical concept that promises me I will get where I want to go if I hang on to it hard enough. Honestly, there are some changes I need to make today. I keep thinking I will start tomorrow, but then I am still here.
Hosea 12:6, “What are you waiting for? Return to your God! Commit yourself in love, in justice! Wait for your God, and don’t give up on him-ever!” MSG
You will never finish successfully if you never start #motivation Click To TweetWhenever I approach a staircase, I press my lips together and determine if I have the strength to climb before I take the first step. There is no way for me to get to the top if I don’t walk one stair at a time. If I never start, I will stay at the bottom only wishing and hoping I was at the top. So I have a proposition: How about we do this together?
Galatians 6:2, “Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” HCSB
YOUR TURN
What do you need to start?
- A realistic budget?
- Reconciling an important relationship?
- Breaking the cycle of addiction?
- Getting in shape?
- A diet?
- Daily prayer?
- Time in the Word?
- Serving someone in need?
Here is my list:
- I will commit to cutting back on caffeine so maybe I can sleep better.
- Start each day with a time of worship.
- Eliminate most of the carbs from my diet, except maybe a small dish of sea-salt, caramel ice cream every now and then. Doesn’t a girl deserve an occasional treat?
Will you commit to specific change, starting today?
this could have been me talking to myself about prednisone, and fatigue, and all of those things. thank you for your obedience to Lord by sharing your heart, fears, frustrations, but most of all hope.
I jokingly tell my doctors that if I ever get off this stuff I am going to label my chart “allergic to prednisone.” I don’t ever want to be back on it
I second the motion on prednisone, Vickie! I hate that steroid. Not only does it make my blood sugar go bonkers, the drug itself literally wipes me out! On those days, I simply force myself to get out of bed and shower, and dress! Those three steps alone all within an hour, is a real feat. By the time I get to my recliner in the den, I’m pretty much finished for the day! But I refuse to stop, after a three hour morning nap, I take the long 25 yard journey out to my mailbox to get the mail. It’s that long 500 yard journey back to the house that requires another nap!!! You know Vickie? Maybe I might tell Dr. Giglia I might be allergic to prednisone too! ? Love, Jane
The blood sugar part was the very worst. That got better for me once I reduced the dose. Thanks for sharing and bless you
Amazing advice your words always speak to my heart ?
Now to follow my own advice
I always say this, but it is absolute truth! You have a gift for writing and sharing from your personal experience so succinctly that we readers can identify as though you are speaking directly to our own personal experience! Thank you!
Knowing people connect makes it worth the effort. Thank you
I have MS. I’ve had it for more than 25 years. The youngest of my three children was eleven months old when I was finally diagnosed. I have experienced progressively worsening symptoms through the years, as expected, especially in the last few years.
I’m not very good at doing this; but when my condition worsens and I have to make adjustments, I try to convince myself that “these are good days,” because I know that next year, or next month, or even tomorrow I will very likely be more disabled than I am now.
I look forward to having a new body in heaven.
Amen sister!
Vickie, as always you are a blessing. Write a devotion book so I can buy. Your post is such an inspiration. Blessings to you and yours. Thanks again for your uplifting words.
You are so sweet. I have written a book about my year of rest and met with a publisher. I am making some revisions before I send it in. Bless you for encouraging me
It’s so easy to relate. We have to have hope that we will have good days. We almost insure that others see us only when we are doing better. I fell of carport steps last night so no church today. Pain is too much. Oh yeah, nothing broken. Just bruised body and pride. Last round of prednisone was several years ago and lasted about 18 months. I don’t do well on it but it helped heal internal problems. I deal now with more weakness related to the long period on prednisone. I remain hopeful that the next day will be better. There is so much to be thankful for. My situation could have been worse. I remain able to play guitar to perform as well as teach guitar lessons. Your words encourage me to do what this day brings and remain hopeful about tomorrow. Hope and trust in the Lord keeps me on the right path. ……….☮ph
You are doing something good. Hang in there
I admire your positive attitude in the face of pain and adversity. I still haven’t been able to write about my chronic illness. I’m afraid of coming off as whiny, but your post shows that it can be down in a positive way. I gave up coffee (and all caffeine including chocolate!!) a little over a week ago. I was a hardcore 3 cups a day coffee drinker. You can do it! I also have to avoid gluten, dairy and soy. I just went cold turkey and I am managing much better than I thought I would. I did drink some Earl Grey tea in the first couple of days off of coffee, just to stave off the headaches.
Thanks. Sometimes I have to follow my own advice
Vickie — Beautiful post. I am working through some habits and health issues myself. I am glad I came across your blog at Susie Eller’s link up. Many Blessings to you. I hope you enjoy EVERY bite of the Sea Salt Caramel Ice Cream! 🙂
Thanks. Glad to be your neighbor today