Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want, does it? Me, I’m packing up what’s left of it and moving on. There are people and things that aren’t going with me. The people get to choose, the papers just didn’t make the cut.

Paper cut

On the top shelf of my linen closet, I found an 11 inch-thick stack of papers. Though I never turned a single page, it occupied space for years. Every word revealed private information I didn’t need or want. One of those things you don’t know what to do with, so you stash it for your kids to throw away when you die. 

Inferno

Hundreds of pages with sensitive details would keep a home shredder grinding for hours, so I burned them. Wanting to stay safe, I put a small pile into the chimenea up against my house and lit it. Oddly, it didn’t catch fire right away, so I lifted the corners of several pages and held the flame to the edges. After the flame caught, I added more paper which then extinguished my little furnace. I repeated this process over and over until black ashes glowed bright orange. Stoking the embers with my long lighter, I blew into the mouth of clay heater and the flames caught again, but only for a few minutes.

“…the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can st your whole life on fire…” James 3:6 (NLT)

911

Staring at fire mesmerizes me, so I sat on my deck and poked and blew until bedtime. The stack was singed, but only on the edges. Leaving it to smolder, I called it a night. At 2 a.m. I woke up and realized my nostrils were full of a smoky aroma. In less than a second, panic and regret propelled me out of bed. Sprinting toward the back door, my view through the glass was clouded by gray haze. Instead of grabbing my phone to call the fire department, I threw open the door and to my surprise saw nothing. No flames and no smoke, though my nose felt it. Only a skinny wisp wriggled out of the top  of the charcoaled stack of papers.

“he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.” Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

Hazy vision

The windows were clouded by condensation from heat meeting the cool, humid night air. Not the first time my vision was clouded by a burning fire.

Threats to our safety cloud our perspective. And our reactions. Panic and regret fill our minds and adrenaline calls us to action. Only it’s not always the right action.

“The wise watch their steps and avoid evil; fools are headstrong and reckless.” Proverbs 14:16 (MSG)

Ash heap

Whether flames rage or situations smolder long through the night, nothing stays intact. Ashes are all that remain from the destruction and burn. I’m certain this ash-heap season of my life is being used and redeemed by the Lord, but I also understand that when beauty comes from ashes, there’s no skipping the fire that caused them. 

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want

Once burned, you can’t put life back like it was, but you can have faith there will be beauty.

Faith is belief in things hoped for

Maybe parts of your life are burned beyond recognition too. Can I give you a little advice born out of experience? Stay calm and don’t run out the door in your pajamas in the middle of the night. Joy comes in the morning and faith makes us whole. If you’ve already seen the beauty give a shout, if not, remember it’s not what you see that counts, it’s what you believe. That’s faith.

Confidence + hope + assurance = faith

“Now faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

By the way, before any rumors get started I am moving, but I’m not leaving town. And I’ve already seen breath-taking beauty.

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