Losing the fight

Sometimes I get away with rehearsing words I’ll never say, but not lately.  God got in my face and wouldn’t leave me alone. Every time temptation threatened to snag me into the hands of the enemy, the Word blocked me. In the battle between my flesh and spirit, my flesh is strong, but scripture I’ve hidden in my heart helps me take every thought captive. I’m no match for God; I’m losing the fight and I’m glad.

In my face

In a single day, life pummeled me. Blow after blow with hurt so deep it popped to the surface of my consciousness throughout a fitful night of sleep. Ugliness, pain, deep, deep betrayal penetrated every space of my thoughts. I struggled to fix my thoughts on Jesus, then He just got in my face.

“for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.’” Genesis 32:28 NKJV

Fighting for me

God didn’t wrench my hip or change my name like He did Jacob’s, but He sure wrestled with me. Through my turmoil, He never left my side. Over and over, He reminded me of His truth as I entertained wicked thoughts.

“As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.” Micah 7:7 NLT

Crying foul

I imagined the Lord standing over me in a black and white striped shirt with a whistle around his neck while I wrestled with my own flesh. When I recounted every wrong done to me, He blew the whistle right in my ear.

“It [love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV

Penalty call

Devising schemes of vindication over pain inflicted to me, He rolled his arms one over the other. Illegal procedure.

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.” Romans 12:17 NLT

Face to face

Confronted by the Word, every thought from my flesh was opposed by truth. There was no way around it.

“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” Luke 6:27 ESV

Losers and winners

I don’t know what you are wrestling with, but I hope you lose. Lose to the One who can renew your mind and transform your thoughts. Even if He has to get in your face to do it.

“Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.” Romans 12:2 MSG

Worth the effort

Keep Him in a firm grip and He will keep you. Like Jacob, we may limp forever, but never quit. Focus on the inward change and listen to His voice through His word. Focusing is hard, but it’s worth it.