Sometimes when I have a lot to say, I can’t say anything at all. There are 78 thousand words in my brain dump file, so I could pull out an idea or three to share with you. Instead, I’m saying goodbye. Goodbye to the porch.

When I was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, the doctor prescribed 60 milligrams of prednisone which I took for two years. Guess what 60 milligrams of prednisone does? My face puffed up, sleep was impossible and mood swings, well there were plenty of reasons for those. Anyway, the porch was my sanctuary. With my words, I welcomed you to join me.

Since I was a little girl, I dreamed of writing. God sure has a funny way of granting the desires of our hearts, doesn’t He? While I sat on the porch, words I wrote flowed out of my heart onto the keyboard. Now it’s sort of part of my identity.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalm 37:4 (NLT)

Today, I’m saying goodbye to the porch. Ironically, I’m not sad. Oh believe me, I cried enough tears over the last four years to drown a camel. But this is not an end, it’s a beginning. I’m saying goodbye to my former life and starting over. And let me tell you, a fresh start feels good. Really good.

“Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.” Philippians 4:7 MSG

There truly is a peace that passes understanding and it comes from the Lord. That peace is more valuable than anything I own. Often I catch myself smiling for no reason; I’m happy. Not because I’m glad I’m where I am, or for the reasons that got me here, but glad because there’s hope. It’s not a hope that kills, but a hope that heals. Hope comes from trusting that God has plan, and it’s a good plan, even if it’s not my plan.

“For I know the plans I have for you’ – this is the Lord’s declaration – ‘plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (HCSB)

For the last few weeks I’ve boxed up thirty-four years of life. Maybe you’ve noticed how quiet I’ve been, maybe not. Well, here’s the deal – I didn’t have internet. Did you get that? I didn’t have internet. Good grief, it was awful. Last week a technician showed up at my new house and hooked up my cable. Can I hear an, “Amen” and “Praise the Lord!” Then he looked around and reminded me, I’m in a good place.

Pain brought me here, but here is good.

Maybe you need to know that. Pain has a purpose, so don’t waste it. If you’re hurting, there’s hope. Out of pain comes undeniable and incomparable joy, if you look for it and embrace it. Before the young man left he said, “But look where you ended up.” Yeah, that’s it. Look where I ended up.

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.” John 16:21 (NIV)

So goodbye porch, hello fresh start. I’m clinging to hope and smiling all the while. I hope you are too. If not, look up. Then come see me sometime. 

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“I will lift up my eyes to the hills – from whence comes my help?” Psalm 121:1 (NKJV)