What to say to make it all better
Bad news comes like a sucker punch in the middle of what starts out as a really good day. In fact, it can run you over. The woman nearly bumped into me coming out of the grocery store. Eyebrows squeezed tight displaying her anguish, she said, “Did you hear….?” Trying to think of what to say to make it all better, I opened my mouth. No words.
“’Comfort, comfort My people,’ says your God.” Isaiah 49:1 (HCSB)
The Right Words
I want to tell her it’s going to be alright. But I know better. I want to tell her she’s the exception, but she isn’t. I want to give her the formula for success or the book with all the answers, but the truth is, the prognosis is poor. And what can I say?
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” 2 Corinthians 1:1-4 (MSG)
Not a Word
I know what not to say, so sometimes I keep my mouth shut. We really do want to say something to make it all better and we realize our words are inadequate, especially when there is a possibility it all turns out bad. A funeral home director once told me if you don’t know what to say don’t say anything. Wise words, but we can’t just stand there.
“Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15 (NLT)
Foolproof words
The only foolproof words I know are, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” It never hurts to say, “I’ll be praying for you.” Make sure you follow-through.
I wish I had words to make it all better when others are walking through despair. I don’t. But I do have a little advice.
Point them to THE WORD
Rehearse God’s faithfulness
Remember God’s truths
Change your focus; God keeps His promises and that’s enough to deserve our focus
Your problem might not go away, but it grows dimmer in the light of God’s grace
Practice praise: say the names of God and His attributes out loud. Sing, even if you can’t carry a tune
When you don’t know how to pray, personalize and recite the model prayer
Be intentionally grateful: get up every day and list three things you are thankful for
Surrender to God’s perfect will
Memorize scripture
Pray God changes your feelings and emotions
Behold the Lord
Maybe that sounds a little churchy for you, but we serve a magnificent God. He created us to glorify Him and enjoy His presence. Look. If you have eyes to see and ears to hear, behold his majesty.
“They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Psalm 112:7 (NIV)
