Welcome my friend Kimberly Dewberry. When I signed up to be on her book launch team there were some things about her past I didn’t know. After reading her new book, “Three Weeks to Forgiveness,” I asked some tough questions. Her answers were brave and honest. I believe God crossed our paths to start bringing healing to both of us. Here’s her story…
From the outside looking in, everything seems picture perfect. Photos streaming across the screen of happy trips, family get-togethers, school event moments with kids, and the “typical” day in the life of people. But, what is really going on behind the social media pictures with smiles, vacation photos, and pictures of the happy family?
Behind the smiles, I am quietly breaking. Behind the family get-togethers, I am a fake. On the inside, I am ashamed of my past. Is this how you feel, too?
For years, I spent my life portraying the real fake me to the outside world as the happy wife, the stoic mother, and well-rounded, moral person. In my book, Three Weeks to Forgiveness, I share about a decision from my past that changed the way I viewed myself until I let God change my heart.
I had been married for about 7 years when I decided I didn’t want to be married anymore. Up to that point, I had continually searched for value and worth as a result of growing up in an alcoholic household. I had strayed far from God. My thinking had become consumed with sadness, misery, emptiness, and depression. I didn’t feel worthy of love from anyone. So, in my confusion, I sought comfort in a man from my past instead of turning back to God and allowing Him to fill the emptiness of my soul.
Before that moment, I had never viewed myself as a person capable of adultery. In fact, I swore I would never commit such a sin, yet, wallowing in the pit of my own misery, I did. The hurricane force turbulence this one decision left behind is the source of shame I carried with me for years.
You may not relate to being the other woman like I can. In fact, maybe you are downright angered by my confession. I don’t blame you one bit. I’ve also been on the other side of adultery. That is precisely why I was disgusted with myself and my choices. But, let me tell you this, even on our worst day, when the most horrible choice is made, God will not shame us. In fact, He loves us exactly where we are and how we are.
Take a look at the short, but poignant story of the adulterous woman in John 8. If you know the story, Jesus has left Judea and is on his way to Galilee. We pick up when Jesus arrives at the Mount of Olives. In the morning, Jesus goes to the temple. While there he is confronted by the Pharisees and they pose a question to Him.
“’Teacher,’ they said to him, ‘this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?’” – John 8:4-5
Jesus takes pause and writes something on the ground in the sand. He finally speaks to them,
“The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” – John 8:7b
I would imagine in the moments that followed, we could have heard a pin drop in the temple. Jesus was radical at the time for many things, but in this scene, for challenging the scribes and Pharisees. The crowd is looking at one another and back to Jesus. Questioning Him in their minds, I’m sure of it. Then Jesus speaks again, this time to the woman.
“Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” – John 8:10b
As arrogant as the Pharisees were, none of them could say they were without sin. Interesting, don’t you think? These are the same people who professed to know God’s law better than anyone and prayed publicly so everyone would know how righteous they were, yet no one spoke up. The nameless, adulterous woman then replies to Jesus,
“No one, Lord,” – John 8:11a
In the hushed temple, Jesus then replies to her,
“Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.” – John 8:11b
I relate very closely to this story and the woman Jesus speaks to. Maybe adultery is not a sin of your past. Whatever sin it is, know this: Jesus came to the world to save the world, not condemn the world (John 3:17). We are all sinful and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Not one of us is righteous, not one of us (Romans 3:10). But we are all forgiven of whatever sins plague us if we know Jesus and make him the Lord of our lives (Romans 10:9-10).
When I rededicated my life to Christ, I discovered this story. God knew the pain and shame I carried with me because of my actions. In His perfect timing, He showed me this story. I no longer allow the shame of my past to loom over me as a dark cloud. Instead, I allow my Father to help me overcome my past. I am a new creation in Christ who values relationships and marriage exactly the way God designed.
Kimberly’s image of God was skewed with an inner turmoil that only he could heal. Through the loving grace of Jesus Christ, she has broken free from the shackles of rebellion and anger and has made it her life’s mission to openly share her journey through courageous prose. Her heart’s desire is to help other adult children of alcoholics identify and overcome unhealthy cycles of destructive living that the specter of alcoholism leaves behind. Kimberly often speaks at recovery meetings about how the serenity and peace of God’s redemption are keys to personal wholeness. She also shares biblical insights to everyday problems through her blog, Transforming Normal. Kimberly has two grown children. She and her husband Patrick live in the Dallas area with their two furry friends. Kimberly enjoys writing, reading, Bible art journaling, participating in Bible studies, and dating her husband.
If this is something that touched your heart in some way and want to read more of Kimberly’s story of redemption, pick up your copy of
Three Weeks to Forgiveness: God’s Redemption in the Dark Places of Addiction.
Available April 5, 2018, from the publisher eLectio Publishing and where other fine books are sold.
Listen to my interview with Kimberly Dewberry on THE HEART OF THE AUTHOR
Get to know Kimberly by clicking on her social media sites:
The book looks amazing!