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Pulling the blue skirt up over my waist was a prelude to what I knew the mirror would show me. Elastic was the sole reason I could wear any of my clothes, yet I refused to go shopping. Measuring a scoop of Slimfast into a mason jar, I kissed my baby goodbye and headed out the door. Ugh, four months postpartum and too many stubborn pounds refusing to vacate.
Not only was my body different, so was my heart. Chubby cheeks blooming out of a lacy blue onesie reminded me it was all worth it. Still, hormones, sleep deprivation and the demands of juggling medical school with a newborn took a physical and emotional toll.
Phone a friend
Needing someone who had traveled this road recently, I phoned a friend; a friend with a two-year old. You know, someone who already arrived and figured it all out. Soon after she said, “Hello,” I blurted, “When after your daughter was born did you feel back to normal?” I could hear the smug smile in her voice as she replied, “I don’t know. Want me to call you when I get there?”
Two years and she still didn’t feel normal, well that wasn’t encouraging. I wanted to hear that as time went by, everything settled and life continued on the same course. Anyone with kids knows better than that.
Some things just change the course of life forever, things like birth or death of a dream, a relationship or a loved one.
Trying to be okay
I know people who are farther along in this journey than me. Early after the blow to my marriage that proved fatal, a woman who knew the pain of betrayal said, “I know what you’re going through and I know what is coming too.” Well, that’s not encouraging, but it was true. Oh so true.
Now I’m on the other side. The end of my marriage took longer than a pregnancy. I probably held on too long, but it took me a while to realize the crash was an exit, not a detour. Now, settled in to my new house and my new life, I’m happy. Not happy it turned out this way, but day-to-day happy and eyes on the Lord happy.
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT
We suffer so we can minister to those who are suffering and I’m grateful for those who’ve walked this road and survived showing me their strength and happy endings. Now I’ve reached to others who are limping from the bomb that exploded their relationship. Recently someone asked me, “How long did it take before you were okay?”
I don’t know, want me to call you when I get there?
Truth be told, I’m better than okay, but now I know, getting there is a process, not a destination. That may be the truth you need to hear.
Trying to be okay is a process, not a destination #IAMOKAY Click To TweetWhatever you’ve been through, there’s hope. I know from experience. If you’re a survivor thriver like me, pass it on. While you’re at it, pass along any of my posts that encourage you. Invite a friend to join our journey here or on Facebook. It’s like comfort multiplied.
Would you please email this to me? I’d like to forward it to a niece of mine who is going through a very hard time right now. Thanks, rusty Taylor