Where is God when life is interrupted?

The whole world pushed pause, now where is God when life is interrupted?

My mom is using this intermission to organize the cabinets, purge the closets and clean the house. Me? I’ve scrolled through social media, stared at the wall and read the same paragraph in chapter three of a novel, not comprehending a word.

Missing God

When illness interrupted my life, God’s presence felt like a friend sitting with me on the porch every morning. During the devastation of divorce, I soaked the carpet begging God to fix it, and when He didn’t, I saw Him and heard Him all around as He carried the pieces of my heart in His own scarred hands.

But this…

Isolation is a new one for me, and I’ll be honest, it’s a new kind of hard for all of us. S’pose they don’t call it “novel” for nothing…

Presence

Sickness delivered stacks of cards to my mailbox, meals to my refrigerator, and people to my doorstep. People, that’s what I miss most, and I think we are feeling the separation collectively. As if that weren’t bad enough, I don’t always feel the presence of God either. Do you?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I haven’t looked for Him. My daily Bible reading is caught up and I’m trying to discipline myself to do what I know are faithful habits. So far, I haven’t missed a Sunday of church online, but seeking God? Not really. Instead, I’m trying to fill the empty space with text and talk, friends in Zoom boxes or looking for some misguided soul to correct on Facebook. Can I tell you something? That isn’t going to help me feel more connected and it won’t help you either.

There’s so much to miss: hanging out with friends, physically being with church family, eating at restaurants, and hugging people. It’s lonely being alone and I really miss human touch.

The loneliness of being alone

If you said that to me, I’d tell you all about how we are never truly alone and God never leaves us or forsakes us. Within the depths of my soul, I know that’s true. You probably do too. But where is He?

People are getting married without crowds of friends, having babies without showing them off, burying  loved ones with only family, and lying in hospital beds alone. Life as we know it is altered, but life goes on. And sometimes on and on…

Hide and Seek

Sometimes God is hard to find. Wonder if He wants us to search for Him, as if His presence mattered to us more than anything?

Does God seem hard to find? Click To Tweet

Don’t think these feelings are a new thing. David skillfully strummed his harp and sang his heart out, unlike my tendency to paste on a happy face and keep moving. When I forget how to find God and feel His presence, I go the Psalms. There’s a prescription found in Psalm 42; one we ought to follow when we feel sad, discouraged and alone.

“My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be.”

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- my savior and my God!”

Psalm 42:4-5 (NLT)

“Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you.” Psalm 42:6 (NLT)

Remember

This disconnected feeling isn’t terribly familiar, nor is it foreign. As much as I love mountaintop exhilaration, I also treasure God’s nearness in valleys and pits, but, it’s the parched desert without living water that disturbs me most. The feeling of aloneness, emptiness and numbness are the feelings I avoid. Instead, I should remember. Remember what drew me back to the Lord.

“But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to the God who gives me life.” Psalm 42:8

Songs and Prayer

Music is powerful and songs go hand-in-hand with remembering, reconnecting us with memories. Some old rock songs take me back to cruising Military Road on Friday night; a few country songs take me back to lazy days on the lake; Disney songs take me back to mom days with a living room full of sleeping bags.

Sometimes it’s hard to pray when the whole world is in chaos. Worship music puts God in His rightful place and bridges the distance between Heaven and Earth.

“’O God my rock,’ I cry. ‘Why have you forgotten me? Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?’” Psalm 42:9 (NLT)

Ask why

Feeling forgotten and alone? These verses give us permission to ask why. There is a time to question and a time to trust in the waiting for answers, as long as the place is right. The place is the foot of the cross; take your questions to God and wrestle them out there.

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God!” Psalm 42:11 (NLT)

Hope

When you feel discouraged, put your hope in God; when you feel sad, praise him again. Do everything you know to do, then keep doing it until you feel it and find God. He wants to be found, and He wants you to keep looking.

“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.’ ‘Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t’ be disappointed.’ God’s Decree” Jeremiah 29:13 (MSG)

Nothing feels whole right now in this fractured and broken world. But we can take the pieces of our heart to Him and ask him for hope and healing. When we do, we will find Him.