I thought I could believe without wavering, but I crumbled. Nothing really turned out the way I expected. I’m not a “name it and claim it” Christian, but geez, I thought if I trusted God then at least the basic fabric of my life was salvageable.
Where is God when your prayers go unanswered?
Didn’t you believe enough?
I believe
The question came through my website, but if you looked at my face you would have seen my eyes shift. You know, that right brain/left brain stuff. People unconsciously look one way when recalling a memory and another way when formulating an idea. Not saying I’m lying, I’m just trying to figure out how to answer.
FUN, she said it would be fun. Boy was she was wrong, it was anything but fun.
As part of a blog share, I reposted a link to my “word” of the year for 2016. Another writer noticed the post was from last year so she asked,
How did it end? It’s always fun to know the ending.
Well, not always….
Believe
Last year I chose BELIEVE as my “word.” I hoped to believe God and see a miracle. Like Abraham, to believe even in an impossible situation. He believed Sarah’s dead womb would produce new life against all hope. Never doubting despite the logic, or lack thereof. I still want to believe like that.
Romans 4:18, “Against all hope, Abraham believed…” NIV
If you only have enough faith…
The problem with the prosperity gospel is reality, oh yeah, and the truth of God's word #Can'tNameitandClaimit Click To TweetDo I believe?
It’s not that I gave up, it’s just that nothing happened, well, nothing good anyway. Bad got worse and the agonal breath of hope seemed final, then I heard Jesus speak. Actually he spoke to Martha and it’s recorded in the Bible, but I read it and the question applied.
John 11:25-26, “Jesus said to her, …’Do you believe this?'” HCSB
When hope dies
Jesus was a no-show while Martha watched her brother die. Jesus said his sickness wouldn’t end in death, but he died anyway: cold, pale,lifeless, decaying, dead. But even in their disappointment and sorrow, the sisters professed their belief in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.
What about me?
Vickie, do you believe this?
What about you?
______________, do you believe this?”
Believe what?
Believe God is able to do exceedingly more than anything we can think or imagine
Believe God is our portion and prize and He is enough
Believe God works all things for our good
Believe God has a plan to give us hope and a future
Believe dead things are brought to life by the resurrection power of Christ
I believe, but…
Where are you Lord?
I believe, but Jesus hasn’t shown up to rescue me yet. Meanwhile, I’m over here doing chest compressions and counting breaths in a futile effort to bring dead things to life. Can somebody bring the crash cart please? I’ve squeezed more than a few Ambu bags and watched life-giving oxygen bring cyanotic newborns to life. Unfortunately, I’ve also stood helpless in the corner of the emergency room while a lifeless body never responded to pumping the chest. I’ve seen life slip away while families knelt on the cold, tile floor and cried out to the Lord.
John 11:32. “…Lord, if only you had been here…” NLT
Where are you Lord?
I believe
Sarah’s womb was shriveled, Lazarus flat-lined, Jesus was dead and my life, well some aspects just decayed. What about you? Do you need to check a pulse on your faith? Maybe your physical illness is terminal or your emotional illness is hopeless or you think your spirit needs to check-in to hospice care, but is it the end? You see, Jesus didn’t say Lazarus wouldn’t die, He said it wasn’t the end.
Romans 4:17, “…God..who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.” ESV
As I cradle the fragile pieces of my broken life, I ask tough questions,
“Where are you Lord?”
“Is it dead?”
“Is this how it ends?”
Jesus asks tough questions right back at me,
“Do you believe?”
“Am I enough?”
Mark 9:24, “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” NKJV
So no, it wasn’t FUN how it turned out, but I guess it deserves an ending.
Maybe you’re still waiting for Jesus to show up. Can I tell you what I’ve learned? Jesus doesn’t come late. He still has the power to bring dead things to life. After all faith is believing in things unseen.
I needed to here this. Thank you for sharing what is on your heart. You are a blessing to many.
Thank you for joining the journey
Amen
Love ya
Oh Jesus does not come late, for sure! My husband and I have learned that in our 2 year journey of reaching America as a married couple!
Praying doors open in His perfect timing
Truth to hold on to Vickie! He IS enough. I need to remind myself of that when my heart is filled with complaining. Thank you for a post grounded in His Word.
Thanks, I remind myself of what I know is true. It’s how I survive
I needed this! Thank you!
Me too, me too
I love reading your blogs!! Always always always gives me something to think about!! Thank you!
Thanks for reading. It’s always risky to pour out my heart but the blessing comes back to me when I know someone is encouraged
Checking in as a writer receiving 2 rejections this morning. Thanks, I needed that!
Love it when God shows us He is there! Hope it happens in His perfect timing
Every word strikes a chord of the familiar. Believe God in spite of whatever circumstances surround you. It is absolutely the Fight of Faith. Hugs to you.
I’ll keep fighting. Thanks Dorothy
Excited to see you in my inbox– encouraging, as always. Thank you! 🙂
Glad to be there 😉
You’re such a fighter Vickie! I love that you never give up and you never run from truth. Miss you.
If I speak it, it’s easier to believe it. Thanks!
This is so good, Vickie, so transparent. It will encourage others. We’re all somewhere on this journey, maybe trying to pump breath into something or weary with waiting. But I’m with you. I choose to continue to look to the Life Giver and pray the same prayer, “I believe. Help my unbelief.” May he resurrect or give birth to something even better than you’ve considered. He is faithful.
Thanks for your beautiful words, thanks for being with me
Vickie It is good-but unbelief is a real thing we face. I guess that’s why the disciples prayed that. Is the end fun? Not after all my back surgeries, No. He told me there was so much more stenosis pressing on all the nerves, than he expected & he removed so much…I ought to feel great!!! But it might take as much as a year. Well 7 mos later….I’m questioning WILL it really get better-or is this my life….4 bad days..then 1 good day?? I can put on a smile & makeup & nice clothes for a few hours-then I’d be embarrassed if people saw me in my pjs till 3 or 4pm or all day, lying on ice the whole day. I believe my dr-i should feel better. But maybe I’m just a big wimp & not pushing myself enough? Maybe my ‘type A’ personality turned into a ‘type F’ personality?? Maybe it’s all my fault for not doing more of my PT exercises? Or maybe it’s just my unbelief??? If I believed more, read & memorized scripture & prayed more?? How do we handle things if this is the best we can do??
I am so glad you asked. When we truly believe, it doesn’t mean we get what we asked for. That’s name it and claim it. We must believe He knows best. Suffering brings us to our knees and apparently I am needing to live there right now. I’m glad you asked because I needed the reminder. His ways are not our ways, His plans are certainly not our plans, but we must trust His heart and that His plan is best. Even when, especially when, it’s not what we want
Thanks…. is it ok if it’s not the answer I wanted? ….But in actuality, if this is the best it gets…I’m living so much more life than all the overseas countries I’ve been to-even if it’s one good day out of 4. Even if those 4 days lying on ice & looking out my window of our new home at our beautiful horses running in the pastures. One day of feeling good out of 4 is a lot more than some have. I’m blessed to not have to work & bobs love language is acts of service & he’s retired so he works on the farm & doesn’t mind eating out a lot.& buying groceries & laundry & vacuuming-he doesn’t do bathrooms or windows! Ha!! So your answer was what I needed…this may be all I have….but God does love me & gives me the very best of his plans. So thank you, if this is the best it is, I need to be thankful & when I think about it, I have too many blessings from God to complain. Can you tell this has been one of my Good Days??? Your blog HELPS!!!
I think I know how you feel, Vickie. I’m thankful God inspired the writers of scripture to include that “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” exchange … what a wonderful example for us of how to respond when God doesn’t show up when or how we so want Him to. I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way you hoped and prayed last year … (Glad to be your neighbor this week at #liveFreeThursday.)
Thabks for stopping by
So so good Vickie! So raw and real and “where life is at” sometime. I love that even though you haven’t seen the ending you had hoped for yet you are tenaciously clinging to Jesus and your faith in HIM. I just love that about you! That alone speaks life and resurrects the hope in others who are watching from the sidelines. May 2018 be your strongest year yet!
Pray I can keep clinging
Wow! A great word delivered with an assigned timing! Thank you!
Thanks, I wrote it last year and it still rings true with my current situation
Thank you so much for this Vickie, I needed it today. We have had so much sickness and heartache over this holiday season. Not one prayer answered in just the way we wanted but as we look back we can see God there carrying us through. I know he has a plan and we just have to trust it.
I get it. I’ve had a year of heartache and unanswered prayers. But I know, I KNOW God has a good plan and today I choose to trust it. God bless you!
Just this morning I was thinking about this. I always know God is the answer but then I dought he will answer me in the same thought. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even hear my prayer. Yes, my unbelief is showing. Thanks for the eye opener.
He hears!