In case you missed it….
At the beginning of January, I launched a lifestyle medicine podcast called, “Healthy Looks Great on You.” For the first six weeks, I’m covering the six pillars of Lifestyle Medicine: nutritional eating, physical fitness, restorative sleep, minimizing exposure to harmful substances, stress management and SOCIAL CONNECTEDNESS. You can listen to that episode here.
Conversation about connection
Social isolation is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It increases your risk for many diseases and shortens your life. Loneliness is an epidemic. It shouldn’t be this way.
On my Facebook page, I asked the question, “Where do you make friends?” So many answered, church. I love that and the church should be the place where we connect with likeminded believers. But I can tell you from personal experience, it’s not that easy. Maybe we should explore that a little more. Feel free to join the conversation.
My friend Debbie Swindell is a writer, Bible teacher, and discipler of women. She’s currently studying and teaching on the topic of friendship. So, I asked her to share her expertise with you. We said some very similar things.
Read more about Debbie, “an everyday theologian.”
Loving Others in Friendship
by Debbie Swindell
“In this world two things are essential: a healthy life and friendship. God created humans so that they might exist and live: this is life. But if they are not to remain solitary, there must be friendship.”
– Augustine, sermon 299
Friendship is an essential part of a healthy life. We choose different kinds of friends, but it’s necessary to choose wisely and invest time and effort in building and maintaining meaningful relationships.
Loving others in friendship takes effort, and it requires vulnerability. Authentic friendships display compassion, courage, confidence, and loyalty. Let’s pursue real friendships by being alert to the people God brings into our lives and seek to strengthen one another.
Friendship is a theological issue.
Aristotle and the Apostle Paul both wrote about friendship, with Aristotle defining three types of friendship and Paul describing it as a reciprocation of goodwill. While their approaches differ, they both emphasize mutual concern for the other person’s good. Paul uses the terms koinōnia and phronesis in his epistle to the Philippians, which were standard elements of friendship language in ancient times.
You won’t make friends if no one takes the initiative to connect.
Friendship is vital for women. The scriptures remind us of the importance of being together and encouraging one another. We are partners in the gospel. Godly friends should have a positive influence and should be our best friends.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
– C.S. Lewis
Let’s pursue real friendship by being alert to the women God brings across our regular day-to-day paths. Women who walk side by side in the throes of life benefit when discovering common challenges and speaking truth in love. Loyalty is the mark of a good friend.
“There is no greater consolation than the unfeigned loyalty and mutual affection of good and true friends.”
– Augustine, City of God
Friendships take effort.
In a fallen world, earthly friends may fail us, and life can be challenging. We need to listen and understand one another. God never fails us and has placed people in our lives to help us.
“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them…It is God’s love for us that he not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear…But Christians have forgotten that the ministry of listening has been committed to them by Him who is Himself the great listener and whose work they should share. We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the Word of God.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
Friendships require vulnerability.
God made us to be “living stones.” Are you willing to be reshaped so others much different from yourself might fit in? Are you pursuing fruit of the Spirit? Are patience, gentleness, and love evident in your social circles? Authentic friendships display compassion, courage, and confidence. Friends help build up others, but ultimately, God is the one who comforts us.
We build strong friendships by showing grace and guiding each other towards Christ. God uses ordinary women to spread kindness and motivation in our relationships.
Friendships strive toward a common goal.
The Apostle Paul believed that involvement in the community helps us understand our interdependence and indispensability (Rom. 12:3-10). We should strive towards a common goal with a spirit of self-forgetfulness in fellowship and love for one another (John 13:34-35).
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” – Heb. 10:24-25
In closing, good friends are vulnerable, compassionate, and supportive, especially during difficult times. True friendship is a gift from God and should be pursued with humility to honor Him.
Practical Application:
1. Be proactive about being a good friend. Put your best smile forward.
2. Write down character traits you look for in good friends. Do they reflect the fruit of the Spirit? Do you possess the same?
3. Pray for opportunities to show others you are a good friend:
- Serve others who are potential friends.
- Send notes of encouragement to your friends.
- Maintain regular communication.
4. Take the initiative to extend friendship and offer a meeting time for conversation.
5. Read the book of Ruth.
Want more?
You can sign up to get Debbie’s emails on her website. Click here.
If you’d like to get my podcasts by email, click here. You’ll also get access to a free webinar, “Seven Day Prescription for Change.” It will help you identify what lifestyle changes you want to make and give you the tools to get started.
Speaking of social connections, I plan to hit reset soon on the Interesting People Dinner series. Learn more, click here. In the meantime, I send out some personal updates, so make sure to enter your email list to stay in the loop.
To listen to more podcasts episodes on lifestyle medicine, visit Healthy Looks Great on You.
I’m so thankful to connect!
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